fuck everything. i need to do something...what? i dont even know. 
i feel angry without any reason. 
i feel sad without any reason. 
fuck you. 
im kinda losing my faith lately*
this is complicated, im bored and i need someone to talk.
i want to be a whore. 
prostitution is revolution
you can hate me, until you pay me**
do you know who i am? NO. 
so do i. 
but im a good liar. not just good, im a great liar. 
i can smile to you and curse you in my mind at the same time. 
fuck you again. go to hell.
im an imposter. 
im a sinner. 
and i want parang jati alive. 
where on earth i can find a man like him? damn. 
i dont want to be normal. i will never be. 
i hate global warming, this afternoon was really hot and make me pissed off. 
i hate bitches. annoying. 
i was born this way
i was born to be brave
i was born to survive***
im lazy, super lazy (lazy is a sin? dunno. im already a sinner)
i love music-i even think i live because of music, and my piano suck. 
i got a new piano teacher; Ratna Kusumaningrum Asmoro aka Aning Katamsi. great. 
shes a soprano singer in Indonesia, shes the conductor of the Paragita Choir of Universitas Indonesia. (in 2009 they went to a competition in Austria and get 1st place for Category A - Kunstlied (Classic Category) & 3rd place for Category B Volksied (Folksong Category))
last year she did a solo concert. 
and shes now my teacher. double great. 
well, i should be thankful. 
for the first time, i want to be Ratna Arumasari Ansyari's student (well, shes the older sister of Aning Katamsi) but i get Aning Katamsi as my teacher. 
wow. i never understand time. 
its already 4pm, and i still want to write many things. 
i want to be desi anwar; she can interview famous people. 
i never understand fashion. i sometimes hate designers. but i love tex saverio and anne avantie. 
i never understand myself. 
i wish i have AB bloodtype with negative rhesus. unfortunately, i have the positive one. 
i should be thankful of many things. 
nice family, enough food to eat, good school, nice friends.
okay, i lie again, 
i wish i had a friend like punsukh wangdu. 
i wish i had boyfriend like johnny depp or gaspard ulliel or conor grennan or parang jati. crap. 
i miss my old friends. fredrich, michael, zack, kohaku, augustine. fuck fuck fuck i miss them so bad. 
i want to sleep with them again, i want to hug them, i want to kiss them. i love them. 
death cant separate us. 
i am the author of my life. unfortunately, i am writing in pen and cant erase my mistakes.
i believe that dreams are more powerful than facts. 
that hope always triumphs over experience.
and i believe that love is stronger than death.****
ha, fuck you. fuck you, agh. 
im a dreamer. and will always be. 
im different. and so what? 
hate you all. 
stay wild, go crazy. 


*by jiwa hawila 
**prostitution is the world's oldest profession by cobra starship
***born this way by lady gaga
****by chiara anindya


note: ini adalah pelampiasan emosi. komentar dan asumsi orang -orang idiot yang beranggapan berbeda tidak dibutuhkan.*